


Openness

by PurpleSunrise



Series: California Soul (Cali Soul) [2]
Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Dom/sub, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Heavy Angst, I think it’s actually quite cute and tender, Lemon, Likely to be redrafted/reworked at some point, Mental Illness, No Beta, Read the warnings, Smut, Spanking, Sub Ellie, WARNING: See series notes and beginning notes, but idk if you will, discussion of cannon deaths and tragedies, unhealthy(?) relationship, unproofed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:28:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25225348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurpleSunrise/pseuds/PurpleSunrise
Summary: Follows on from “Progress.”  This work contains spoilers for Part 2’s ending and is unlikely to make sense unless you’ve played Part 2. I also recommend Progress first.Abby/Ellie Smut and angst. Featuring dom Abby and her ripped arms <3 spanking Ellie. They are interrupted by heavy angst about various people they murdered along the way. Please read the warnings and the tags.This work is in a rougher form, has not been proofed and will likely be reworked when I’m done with other projects.
Relationships: Abby/Ellie, Abby/Ellie (The Last of Us)
Series: California Soul (Cali Soul) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1824577
Comments: 7
Kudos: 80





	Openness

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: Please see the series-wide warning on the “California Soul” series notes. Warnings here may be incomplete and are intended to be read alongside the series warning. This is a messy fic about a messy relationship. Expect mess. 
> 
> I’ve tried to warn on the high side of things, I actually aim for cuteness and healing (+ kink, much kink) but please do read ‘em and be careful.
> 
> Also expect: Dom/sub BDSM stuff (dom Abby this time! and yes there is much talk of those.ripped.arms) Spanking, restraints, crying after sex (emotional release, not crying due to bad or upsetting sex) other power games, a dynamic that’s not totally healthy, the sex to go wrong because Joel’s murder comes up in the middle of it (they deal with stuff and get back to the sex tho, because the author has priorities, despite the insistence of this unruly pair to make my life difficult: ie I never planned that interlude, it just happened. I love this pairing though.) A panic attack, mental illness, self-hate. References to graphic cannon violence and misery. All sex is consensual, but the situation is messy and not really a healthy one for BDSM so you might feel there are consent issues in that respect. There’s also my best attempt to make it all weirdly tender.
> 
> My Abby/Ellie fics continue to be my messy respite from my other projects, and so this is once again not proofed to same standard as my other work. I hope it’s still good though.
> 
> I’m still thirsty for a beta (no exp needed) so please have think about whether you could give that a go for one of these Abby/Ellie fics. 
> 
> This fic follows on from “Progress” and will likely make more sense if you read that one first. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy it.

Ellie has been catatonic in the water for what feels like forever when she realises that she hasn’t just fucking gone. Abby looks as though she has just been waiting for her to look up, worried either way, and unsure how long to leave it before daring to kick the hornet’s nest. She’s desperate. And fucking crazy. But what can she do? If Lev doesn’t make it, who the fuck cares whether she does or not? Ellie’s staring at her now. *Fuck it.*

“He won’t survive unless we have help.”

“Why the fuck should I care if some random kid makes it or not?”

Abby tries a Hail Mary, and it’s only 50% a guess, she heard them call him “the smuggler” back then after all. “Isn’t that what Joel did?”

Ellie wanted to scream like hell, how fucking dare she even speak his name? What fucking right... But Joel was still looking at her, smiling at her in his porch, and she was right... Fuck. Jesus, the universe is fucking cruel. Go with your biggest fucking enemy, or let a Goddamn kid die thanks to the actions of some sick slaver fucks? Ugh. She drags herself up and towards their boat. I guess this is karma’s ass come knocking. Should’ve known he’d be as much of cunt as every other fucker on planet Earth. 

—

That was how it started, and neither of them could’ve predicted how it would end up.

—

Ellie has been much more vocal lately. She wraps herself around Abby from behind, kissing her neck softly. “You like that, Abs?” Abby’s still more comfortable responding with a soft moan, but El is working on that. Who ever thought she’d be the less shy and clueless one in a romantic context? But much has changed with experience, and it’s clear that Abby has little of it. Ellie almost wants to ask about her history, but she can see one too many ways that it could become a can of worms so she shelves the idea for now and tries something more straightforward. “Where should I kiss you next?” She asks between kisses on her girlfriend’s? (They should probably talk. A lot. But kisses are easier.) neck. 

Abby sighs, and brings her right around to stroke her own shoulder, indicating her answer without words. Goddamn, this girl has a shy side. Ellie peppers kisses on her shoulder. Her lips are delicate enough to tickle. Then she speaks again, “You don’t like talking to me much about this stuff, do you, babe?” 

Abby shakes her head.

“You any idea why your not comfortable? I never imagined finding out there’s a side of you you that’s so shy.”

Abby’s half glad they’re not facing each other, half wishing she had the comfort of looking into Ellie’s eyes. Whenever she’s concerned for Abby, the green of Ellie’s eyes radiates softness and care, something Abby needs right now. 

“Lack of experience, I guess, and a major lack of good experience.” 

Ellie’s tone is extremely gentle. “You had any good experiences before?”

“Owen was really nice my first time. He was all about being willing to stop or slow down. We only had sex a few times before we split up and they were fine enough. I’m...” She struggles, not knowing how the make sense of her latest love interest, “not totally gay, it’s not like I was just with him because I hadn’t realised yet.”

She pauses, unsure and uncomfortable. “It wasn’t, we didn’t do it enough that I found my confidence or whatever with it.”

She sighs, this is going to hurt. “We had sex once more, actually, a couple of days before...” She trails off. 

Ellie has a suspicion and is determined to keep things honest and direct between them, however uncomfortable. “You mean a couple of days before I killed him?”

“Yeah.” A deep breath in. “It wasn’t great. He wasn’t sober....

Or single, for that matter. He thought, I think he thought anyway, that I was a monster for Joel. He was mean and I was insecure and weak. I got involving with a guy whose girlfriend was fucking pregnant, and for what? Mediocre sex and a hollow feeling of reassurance. He turned me around, went from behind...

There’s, there’s nothing wrong with that position, it can be fun, but with the whole situation, with what he said, with him being someone else’s boyfriend, it felt like, maybe you just wanna forget who I am and just enjoy a generic wet hole for your dick?” 

Ellie had replaced her kisses with her head, gently leaning against Abby’s shoulders as she listened. But on taking in what she’s just heard in, she moves around, placing her arms around Abby’s neck as she looks into her eyes. She sees hurt in Abby’s eyes and tries to express compassion with her own eyes. She succeeds more than she knows, because Abby has come to absolute adores those eyes. They’re a portal into all the kind things Ellie has said to her and all the other affection that Ellie feels but hasn’t yet found the words for. She loves her, but she doesn’t say it, or even really know it herself. Not yet, anyway. 

Ellie’s words show her concern, too. “Jesus, babe, that must have hurt.”

“Yeah. In the end, he thought it meant something, wanted us again, so I guess he didn’t mean it that way, but at the time, the morning after especially? It felt how it felt.” 

“So...you don’t feel confident with this stuff. You wanna feel confident with it? You wanna even the score after I made you beg?”

On hearing that idea, Abby’s more incredulous than she is shy, and speaks up easily “Dude, I cannot imagine me being able to make you beg. Can anyone?”

Ellie inhales sharply, she’s only a little uncomfortable about answering. “That’s... definitely a yes.” Then she smiles seductively, “And you totally could too, if you wanna know how.”

Abby’s tone is finally lighter, her eyes have a slight sparkle of playfulness. “Do I wanna know what makes you beg?” Abby mock-considers the question for a few seconds before continuing, “Hmm. Depends, how good are you at it?”

“At begging?” Ellie shrugs, feigning coyness. “Well, I’ve always ended up getting what I wanted in the end...” 

Abby’s quick off the mark this time. “Maybe that’s just because you’ve got a pretty face and pretty cunt, pretty enough to make up for piss-poor begging” 

Ellie’s retort flies back even faster. “You reckon, do you? Well, why don’t you tie my legs apart and find out yourself, Anderson?” 

Jesus. That’s a hell of a offer. And it’s gotta be worth pushing through the nagging insecurities over, right?

“Deal. Who’d’ve thought Williams of all people would be one for being tied up? Next you’ll be asking me to spank you.” 

Abby’s joking, but the laughing reaction she was expecting doesn’t come. Ellie’s coy for real now. Those green eyes have turned downward a little, bravado has suddenly shifted to shyness. Seeing Ellie more vulnerable, and wanting to reassure her, is the strongest push Abby’s had yet to set aside her reticence to speak. She’s confident, or at least she sound confident, when she continues speaking. “Oh, damn, Williams, I didn’t see that one coming. You want me to put you over my lap, babe, see if I can’t teach you a thing or two?”

Ellie near silently whimpers and leans into Abby, placing her head down on her girl’s body. Abby realises she’s enjoying the unexpected power shift. Speaking about this stuff is getting easier. “I gladly will, you know, if you want.” 

Ellie picks her head up, then leans right in to Abby’s right ear. She shuts her eyes — easier to get it out this way — and whispers at length to Abby.

When she’s done, she kisses her ear, and moves to trail kisses further downward. But she’s interrupted by two very strong arms taking hold of her face. They’re forceful without hurting her, and pull her in for a deep kiss. The kiss starts slowly, almost too slow, with Abby controlling the pace, building it up very gradually. Ellie starts to feel an ache from the frustration, and tries to lean in, to deepen the kiss. Those soft arms, hands half soft and half calloused, hold her back. 

Abby pulls back. “Someone’s characteristically impatient and reckless, aren’t they, Ellie?” 

Ellie’s reply is perfectly natural, and kinda goes to the wider point, “Fuckin’ and?” 

“Didn’t anyone ever teach you any self-control, a little discipline? You wouldn’t have made much of a solider.”

Ellie scoffs “You know your aren’t the first person to say that, right? What you reckon they made of me back at Military School?”

Ellie went to Military School?! That gets filed in Abby’s brain, she definitely has a thousand questions to ask and million jokes at Ellie’s expense that all need to made later. 

Abby tries to play it cool. “The Army’s standards aren’t exactly high these days. Most of their so-called soldiers couldn’t’ve reached a rank like mine.” (It’s nice that, for once, she can talk about her objectively pretty horrific military-esque career in a fun way, and not be filled with the horrors and the recollection of seeing and smelling all the blood.)

“Showboating, are we, Anderson?” 

This earns her a flirtatious smirk. “Don’t really need to, do I? Not next to an Army reject like yourself. The difference speaks for itself. I might be able to help with that, though.”

Ellie raises an eyebrow. 

The light roleplay seems to be doing Abby’s confidence the world of good. Ellie’s loving seeing her girl so happy and relaxed. She listens keenly when Abby continues. 

“Soldiers need discipline, they need to stay in line, take orders well, and not talk out of turn. But some recruits need more training than others. Some are far too rebellious for their own good, Ellie. Like you, actually. Did anyone ever even try to teach you some manners, Williams?”

Ellie’s cheeks are burning red hot while her core burns white hot. The roleplay is a bonus, but it’s turning into a really hot bonus. She doesn’t know what to say, but Abby helps out with that when she follows up.

“Manners like not ignoring a direct questions, perhaps?”

Ellie shrugs her shoulders and gets exactly the reaction she’s hoping for when Abby takes hold of her in those strong arms, picking her up as she moves to sit on the edge of the bed. On the way, she whispers to Ellie. She neither wants to break the mood nor take any chances, so whispering her OOC remarks seem the best way. 

“It’s a game, babe, don’t forget that. I’m only going to spank that cute little ass of yours because I know you want it. Say the word and I’ll stop.” 

Ellie nods into Abby, who is now sat back down. She understands and she’s definitely not feeling like stopping.

Still holding Ellie’s full weight in her arms, Abby turns the shorter girl around — *Do I even weight anything to you?* — and gently places Ellie over her lap. 

She holds her there for a little while, letting Ellie feel how easily she holds her slim figure down. The feeling has Ellie smouldering with anticipation.

Then she picks her back up, shifts the whole of Ellie’s weight onto one arm, and uses the other to pull a tank top up and off over Ellie’s auburn hair. Ellie is audibly impressed, moaning out a soft “Whoa.”

“What, you think I build these arms up just for show?”

Ellie’s relaxed, and she’s becoming accustomed to their radical honesty. Her words just slip out. “No, I’m pretty sure you built them up to kill my father with.”

Abby freezes.  
[This is the heavy toll a misstep or a thoughtless comment can take on their comfort zone.]

Ellie blinks, slowly registering what she’s said and the impact of it. Her next words are the last thing Abby would expect, if she had any idea how to know what to expect at all right now. “Shit. That’s the first time I called Joel my father.” 

Less is more at this precise moment. There’s a slight hint of a question or a prompt to go when Abby says “Yeah?”

Ellie doesn’t sob, but tears begin to fall. Her voice is too calm, like the uneasy stillness of the water waiting beside a dam that’s about the burst. “He acted like a father, as far I would know, anyway. He was, we were family. He took me on a camping trip for my birthday, worried and fretted about me, hassled and bothered people like protective dads in cheesy movies do. But he was always just Joel. But, not “just” like less, just like he was one-off, our bond was unique, more than being a father/daughter and less than being a father/daughter. Does that make any sense?”

“Your bond was similar to those roles, but it wasn’t the same, and somehow it was more special because it wasn’t just biology, I think? I guess you didn’t know your fath— *other* father?”

“I’ve always been an orphan, I don’t know shit about parents. I have, like, a letter from my mother, her switchblade, and er, a bunch of shitty orphanage memories.”

Abby has to steel the absolute hell out of herself to keep herself from falling apart long enough to try and clean up her mess. “Jesus, that sounds rough.”

Ellie is remarkably empathic. “I get why you didn’t wanna be like me, why you hated the guy who made you like me as much as you did.”

Honestly, Abby doesn’t want or need that type of compassionate right now. She’s not ready for it. The irony feels like a knife twisting hard in her heart: He took my father, so I took the stand-in father from a fucking orphan who lived 14 years with no-one? I took that because I only got 16 years with mine? She wants to be sick. She wants to be the one getting spanked. No, not spanked, she doesn’t deserve the playfulness and care she’d intended to show Ellie. No, she wants to beaten like hell for her sins. 

And Ellie was there, she was begging for his life, but Abby was too lost in her own world to hear a word of it. 

She is a monster. She wants to pull away, but she tries not to, not wanting to deny Ellie the comfort of being held after everything she took. Regardless, Ellie notices her stiffen involuntarily, “Abs?”

She can’t speak. What would she even say? She’s a monster. The phrase keeps spiralling in her brain. She’s trying to focus on Ellie, to stay here and now, but she can’t. She’s sure she’s a monster, she feels it in her bones. She didn’t merely kill Joel, she took his place, a new and improved version, the improvements being a heightened evil beyond what he ever did. She never begged for her dad’s life. 

She asks the most self-destructive question possible. “If I’d have been there, if I’d begged for his life, you think he would have spared my dad?”

“You were a kid, right?”

“16, yeah.”

“And your dad would’ve stood aside, let me go without trying anything?”

The sinking hell of where this is going is starting to burn Abby, there’s a searing pain at her feet, and foreboding sense that she’s about to choke on rising smoke. Still, she replies “Probably...maybe, I don’t know for sure.”

“The other time when a kid showed up, Joel stopped. We made friends with them actually. But...he didn’t notice the kid as quickly as I did, I don’t know if the kid would have yelled loud enough in time. He might not have noticed you... He was caught up in saving me, after all” She’s trying to be conciliatory.

“But, if he did, if he heard me screaming loud and clear like you did?” 

Ellie sighs, she knows a woman inclined to weaponise her guilt against herself when she sees one. She won’t lie though. And this time it’s not only for the good of their unspoken honestly policy, either, it’s because it’s Joel. He did bad things, but he deserves a fair memory, too. “Yeah, pretty sure he would have stopped and just leave if he heard something like that.”

The smoke has reached Abby’s lungs now. It smells of her, of pine soap and gym sweat and stupidity. It’s choking her. She can’t breathe. She’s a monster, a monster who shouldn’t breathe at all. 

Ellie also knows a panic attack when she sees one, and she starts to try and settle Abby down. It’s a long process and a good half-hour before Abby is breathing normally and only crying a little. 

Ellie gets it. She killed an unborn baby, after all. And for what? So she could try and get the information that she needed to kill someone else, too? She’s in no position to look down on Abby and even if she were she doesn’t want to. She wants to be beside her. To share some peace, some love, some understanding. 

She doesn’t rush Abby’s tears, she’s there for every last one. When Abby’s finally calmer, Ellie tries to remind her that she’s not the only one of them who might be a monster. 

“I killed easily a hundred dudes in the space of like, 2 months, when I was literally 14, you know.”

Abby looks up, but she’s unsure what to say to that.

“I’m trying to tell you that you’re not the only shitty person in this bed, babe. You’re not sitting next to freakin’ Jesus or something. Even if I was meant to be the saviour of mankind.” Ellie scoffs at her own words. What a dumb thought that was.

“I get why he wanted you alive, you know, you’re pretty great.”

“Dude! I just made the exact opposite point.” 

“I thought your point was that we can be monsters and still be pretty great too?”

Well damn. It’s a few seconds before Ellie responds. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right. I think you’re pretty great, Abs. Amazing how stuff can fuck us up, isn’t it?”

It’s an understatement, but it’ll do. They both know what she means and dwelling on it has yet to prove helpful, despite plenty of solo and mutual trips down that pit. 

“Yeah.”

They cuddle for long time. Eventually, Ellie gradually notices Abby relax again, and her mind goes back towards thinking about what they were going to do. *Why did I go and fuck it up?* She supposes it’s a side-effect of all the honesty and speaking openly. *Shitty side-effect to get from trying to the right thing. But then, doesn’t the right thing always come with added difficulty?* She doesn’t wanna think about it. She wants to connect, to be a different kind of vulnerable. A kind that might heal her, if she’s lucky, or at the very least give her a good time. 

She licks her lips, eyes involuntarily flitting over to check out those muscles. Damn, those muscles. Abby isn’t as religious about working out as Ellie suspects she used to be, but she was damn determined to get them back from the Rattlers and she really had....

Ellie can’t resist asking the question at the very least. 

“No pressure, babe, none at all, we can totally leave it for today, but I gotta ask...”

Abby looks up at her, and Ellie continues.

“You think you might wanna go back to what you were doing before I sent us down that whole detour?”

Abby’s face light up. She’s amazed by Ellie’s resilience, her appetite to move on and find joy. Ellie is a master at pulling her back into the here and now. She hopes she does the same for Ellie in return. The past lies to one side, waiting for later as desire retakes Abby’s mind. 

The tease returns to her voice, enough that Ellie knows she hasn’t really forgotten. 

“And what exactly was that, El?”

Ellie’s back to mumbling. The girl’s as confident as she is easy to embarrass. It’s incredibly cute. 

“Spanking me.”

Hearing Ellie turn all shy and mumbly as she asks for a spanking might just be Abby’s new favourite thing. It’s not an existing fetish of hers or anything, but the way Ellie asks for it might just turn it into one. She certainly has a fetish for seeing a blush form on those freckled cheeks. And seeing her lover voluntarily walk towards things that make her more vulnerable, require more trust between them, that warms her from her heart to her core. 

“Oh, that’s right, you wanted me to...what was it?” The question is clearly directed to herself, and she keeps adding deliberate pauses throughout her answer. They make Ellie delightful tense with anticipation.

“Grab ahold of you with my big, strong arms”

“Manoeuvre you around until you’re spread out across my lap”

“Hold you down there, strip you naked...”

Ellie’s begun to tremble in Abby’s arms now, she moans at the mention of being stripped naked, the image it evokes of a still-dressed Abby eyeing her naked body while she’s held down, vulnerable and waiting impatiently for the first slap against her ass. Her moan does wonders for Abby’s confidence.

“Spank you until your ass is pink all over.”

Abby’s all-but quoting the words Ellie whispered to her, words that seem to have a new power when repeated back to the woman that originally spoke them. Abby actually feels sexy, actually feels some assurance that she knows what she’s doing. She loves the feeling. She paraphrases the rest of Ellie’s whispered desires.

“Spank you hard enough to make you squirm and scream out a little.”

“Leave you right on my lap, right where I can admire my handiwork, while I take the same hand that I spanked you with and use it to rub your clit.” 

Abby is increasingly embellishing the outline Ellie suggested to her, describing everything in far more detail. She keeps going, getting more adventurous with her words, thanks to the quiet encouragement she’s getting from Ellie. Like her breath hitching almost every time Abby speaks. The flush of pink spreading from her cheeks to her chest. Her pupils dilating until the green of her eyes is no more than a slither. Not to mention how she hangs on every word. 

“Then pick you back up in my arms once you’re close.”

“And flip you onto the bed, pin your tender ass hard onto the it, make sure you can feel it ache as you come.”

Abby takes a risk, one that has an instant pay off. This time, she is asking a question, and she makes that clear. “You talked about knowing how to make you beg, Ellie, does laying back on your spanked ass, interrupted right when you were nearly going to come for me, that sound like something that would make you beg?”

“Yes, please, Abby.” 

“Hmm. I get it now. At first, I couldn’t quite picture you being the one to beg...”

“But...You just need someone to put you in your place first, huh, El?”

Ellie whimpers, nodding emphatically. Joy stacks up in her heart: Abby sounds confident, she sounds happy, and she’s promising something incredibly hot. Ellie’s wet from Abby words, and can’t wait for her girl to see the effect she’s had for herself. She’s nervous, despite the joy, but that’s part of it, somehow. The nerves make the whole thing even more intense in a way that, overall, Ellie rather likes. 

Abby picks her up again, and she could just melt into those arms: huge, firm muscles covered by soft skin. Abby is firm but not quite rough, and Ellie feel like somehow she’s being both warmly embraced and manhandled in the same moment.

Being carried over to the edge of the bed is even more intense the second time. *Don’t fuck it up. Don’t fuck it up...* 

Ellie stays quiet this time. She’s almost stoic as Abby irreverently strips off her clothing, but the occasional whimper that she can’t quite suppress gives away the true state of her feelings. After very blatantly looking over Ellie’s naked body, Abby sets her down over her lap. Her left arm rests over Ellie’s back, promising restraint should Ellie need it. 

Ellie’s ablaze with anticipation, doubly so after their earlier class start. She’d beg for this spanking if Abby insisted she had to, but she’s relieved to find that doesn’t have to when a palm lands onto her exposed cheeks.

Abby slaps her lightly at first, testing the waters. Ellie responds with short moans each time, obviously enjoying the light taps. She wants more though, and hopes this is just the warm up. 

Ellie’s clearly not in any pain yet, and after a few more taps actually seems frustrated, as if the taps are akin to teasing kiss when what you really want is hard, deep kiss. Abby’s figuring this out as she goes along, so she experiments with different intensities, with landing her slaps across Ellie’s ass, with different paces. It helps her find her feet, and leaves Ellie breathless from the inability to predict her next move. She still hasn’t hit hard yet, though, and Ellie’s beginning to ache for more. *Please don’t make me beg you to hit harder.* 

She might, next time (and Abby’s very much hoping they’ll be a next time) but today she doesn’t. Ellie notices her become a little more forceful. Abby’s looking for clues in her lover’s reactions, and Ellie provides them. Every one of these firmer smacks elicits its own combination of a pleasured moan and a pained whimper. Abby begins to tune into this feedback from Ellie, noticing how her reactions shift after several harder slaps in a row, and soften after some she goes a little lighter. 

Abby can hear that Ellie’s keen for more. Keen for something that will make her cry out in pain, just like she asked for when she whispered into Abby’s ear. Her slaps don’t seem to be firm enough for Ellie yet. So she ups the ante, putting some weight and force behind a harsher slap. 

This time, Ellie cries out solely in pain, then moans afterward, as if she’s retrospectively enjoying the pain. Abby lands a similar smack on the other side, and gets much the same reaction: a cry followed a pleasured groan. As she moans, Ellie pushes her ass out towards Abby as far as she can with the strong arm pinning her back and their legs wrapped intertwined, anyway. Her message is clear. She wants more.

Abby gladly obliges, gradually upping the intensity and watches how Ellie reacts.

After a while, the spanking starts to really hurt, with Ellie taking a little longer after each hit before she lifts her ass back up, offering herself for more. Abby’s pace slows accordingly. Ellie’s far too shy to want to speak right now, not to mention far too lost in the sensations to speak coherently, but Abby’s ability to read her body is phenomenal. 

Ellie doesn’t notice all of own her movements, that she backs away slightly while her flesh smarts too much, and arches back out when she’s ready for another, so it feels to her like Abby might be reading her mind. It’s a delicious feeling. She’s down a rabbit hole of vulnerability and overwhelming, conflicting sensation.

Ellie’s started to whimper continuously now, and Abby paces it carefully. She remembers Ellie’s whispered suggestion — “Whatever you think I can take, just give me a couple more than that, a last couple of harder ones, that’s what sends me over. And don’t worry, babe,” she adds, sending concern, “I stop being shy if it gets too much.” — and decides she’s reaching that point. She flexs her bicep before landing a loud, hard smack. 

One of Abby’s strong arms behind her back is more than enough to keep Ellie’s upper body pinned, even when she writhes hard after that especially firm smack. Her efforts to move amount to nothing more than an tickle against the toned muscles Abby’s arm. Ellie’s moans and cries are replaced by words, and it’s easy to hear the undertones of pleasure in her swearing shouts.

“Last one.” She tells Ellie, who responds with another push of the hips, presenting her glowing, redden ass to Abby eagerly. 

When Ellie first tries to speak, it’s a jumble of pleases and thank yous and incoherent desires. Abby gets the idea, even before she Ellie manages to clearly thank her and plead a little for Abby’s hand to shift its attention to Ellie’s clit. 

Abby’s hand is soaked before she even reaches the swollen nub, she builds up the pace of back and forth movements against it, testing the pressure until she finds the level that makes Ellie groan the loudest. 

She keeps going until she senses Ellie is close, then stops abruptly. Ellie cries out in protest at this as Abby moves her hands to take ahold of her. She grabs her, lifts the trembling woman off of her laps and carries her away from the bed to pin her down on the floor.

Abby angles her arms to ensure she is pressing every one of sore patches she’s left Ellie with into the hard wood. One arm cradles Ellie’s head, keeping her from being too uncomfortable overall. Ellie is melting with desire, and doesn’t need any more encouragement to beg. She sounds likes she’s about ready to cry in frustration. 

“Abby, babe, please, please, I want you, I need to come, please.”

“Didn’t I teach you anything about patience and manners, Ellie? I’ll fuck you when I’m ready. I’ll enjoy listening to you beg in the meantime, though.”

Ellie cries out at this response, she’s raw, all frayed nerve endings that barely hold together. Her voice is high-pitched and urgent. “Don’t make me wait, please, Abby, need you, please, Abby...” 

Her voice tips over into a shameless whine for one last “Please,” before she descends into whimpers. She’s not fighting the hold Abby has on her, she’s opened her legs as far as Abby’s hold on her allows, offering herself up. 

Abby’s voice is tender. “Just as I suspected...too beautiful to need to be any good at begging. It doesn’t seem like this will take long, will it babe?”

She’s pretty confident Ellie won’t need her to start with a single finger, and finds that two slip straight in with ease. She curls them around, finding the most sensitive spots inside her lover, and starts to thrust them. She’s able to up the pace to where Ellie likes it very quickly, quicker than any other time. 

Those fingers feel incredible inside her, but Abby’s holding her thumb away from Ellie’s clit, and the absence is painful. Ellie could likely orgasm from only a couple of well-placed strokes from that thumb, and the lack of contact is just starting to drive her crazy. She shuts her eyes and tries to just enjoy the sensation inside her for now.

Abby’s been waiting for her to do just that. She moves her head quietly as she keeps up the pace of her thrusts. She doesn’t want Ellie to knowing her next move until she feels it.

Eye still closed, Ellie starts to join in with Abby’s rhythm, forcing herself to focus on the pleasure each thrust and not on the intense aching of her clit. Then Abby’s tongue stops that ache, replacing it with a wave of pleasure. Ellie’s body tries to jut upwards in response to the feeling, but just one of those ripped arms is more than enough for Abby to keep her still. Abby’s still thrusting as she starts to lick more firmly in an unpredictable pattern of circles and zigzagged lines.

Ellie stops thinking altogether. She only feels. There’s a slight sting on her tender ass with every thrust that only serves to heighten her pleasure, her clit throbs. She squeezes her legs together, crashing into her lover’s body as she comes with loud string of moans and characteristic sailor-esque cussing. Her insides clench against Abby’s fingers and squeeze tight onto them, holding her still from thrusting. Ellie floats away with joy, and Abby floats with her, basking in her knowledge that’s she’s the reason that gorgeous freckled face looks so lost in bliss. 

Afterwards, Ellie cries in Abby’s arms. She isn’t sad or in pain, just experiencing an overwhelming emotional release. The rare — extremely rare in Ellie’s case — sense of certainty that she’s safe to let go, knowing she’ll be loved and protected, is what ultimately sets her off. Abby lightly strokes her back and lets her cry as much as she needs. Ellie feels safe, she feels free to be all that she is, the lover and the killer, the monster with a kind heart. She hasn’t felt this free since before her fight with Joel. It’s a bittersweet realisation, but she tries to embrace the sweet, to get lost in the feeling that she is protected. Gradually, her tears dry and she realises she feels closer to Abby than ever. 

She feels warm all over. Her heart warmed by Abby’s tenderness, her body warm in Abby’s arms, her clit still glowing from her orgasm, her ass pleasantly warm from the spanking. She means to pleasure Abby, too. But Abby tells her to relax, sleep, and remember that they always have tomorrow. 

Ellie weighs up whether or not she wants to sleep, to wait for tomorrow as Abby suggests, or beg Abby to let her sink down onto her knees, and lap at the folds below her blonde hair until Abby’s body is lost in shockwaves too.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I really hope you liked this one and I really appreciate feedback and comments. You can also find me on Tumblr @PurpleSunriseFanFic where you can use Anon if you’re shy.
> 
> I’m aiming for their relationship to actually be cute and affectionate and tender (at least by the standards of people who thinking spanking someone pretty fuckin’ hard can be done with buckets of love) so I’d love feedback on whether I’m achieving the intended vibe and/or any comments that help me improve my writing. (Alongside just generally hearing what you think.)


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